Sunday, March 6, 2011

The Husband

My husband, bless his heart, (I was told you can say pretty much anything about someone as long as you say "bless his/her heart"...kind of negates anything bad you say about a person) doesn't really pay attention to what I say. He hears what he wants to hear, not what I'm actually saying.

I have a coat rack hanging on the wall. It's one of the few things my mother gave me that's actually useful. Not the most attractive, but useful...it's made from half a wagon wheel with half a dozen hooks hanging along the bottom...she loved that "shabby chic" stuff.

Within the last week or so, two of the hooks broke. Apparently they weren't designed to hold five or six jackets each...they just don't make stuff like they used to. Truth be told, I had the jackets piled so high you could barely fit through the hallway without knocking one or two off every time you walked by.

So I'm standing in front of the bedroom door, folding clothes, and I ask my husband to get some hooks next time he goes to Home Depot.

My husband loves Home Depot..

And Lowes...

Our conversation goes like this...

Me: "Hey, next time you go to Home Depot, can you get some hooks for the coat rack?"

Husband: "Hooks?"

Me: "Yeah, hooks."

Husband: "Hooks?" (Accompanied by a stoopid look)

Me: "Yes...hooks"

Husband: "Hooks?" (Accompanied by an even stoopider look)

Me: (Now mildly annoyed) "Hooks for the coat rack."

Husband: "Hooks?" (Completely befuddled but catching on that he's annoying me)

Me: (Now more than mildly annoyed) "The hooks on the coat rack broke..we need some new ones."

Husband: (Who has finally realized he doesn't have a clue what I'm talking about and doesn't want to say "hooks" again, starts laughing when I stomp over and lift the remaining coats off one of the broken hooks so he can have a visual aid to relate to the word "hook") "Well if you didn't hang twenty coats on one hook, they probably wouldn't break."

By this time we're both laughing...

Sometimes The Husband is the stoopidst thing...bless his heart.