Saturday, April 2, 2011

Reality TV

I hate to admit it but I'm a reality TV show junkie.  It started with Survivor, went on to the Amazing Race, and now I'm pretty much hooked on any reality show that comes along.  I have been know to watch marathon Bridezillas (thank the Lord they invented Tivo/DVR...I don't know what I did before this miraculous invention), marathon Real Housewives, marathon Idiot Abroad (my current favorite show of all time), and now on the Oprah Winfrey Network I've been watching "Behind the Scenes". 

Personally, I don't know how ANY of the girls on Bridezillas have managed to get some poor schmuck to marry them.  These women display the most spoiled rotten, self centered behavior I've ever seen...and I'm glued to the TV.  The "C" word was invented for girls like this.  Can you believe people actually behave like that?  Who would want to marry someone like that???  They must just be on extra bad behavior so they can be on TV.  It says something about our society I suppose...I do know if I had ever talked to my parents the way those girls talk to theirs, I would have been picking myself up off the ground.  I wonder if they look back and have the good grace to be embarrassed by their behavior?  And why do all the heavier girls always wear skin tight dresses?????  Why would you wear a dress that accentuates every single roll of fat on your body?  I mean, let's face it...white isn't the most slimming color to begin with...it's even less attractive when it's got a tonnage of human flesh squeezed in between seams threatening to pop open at any time.  It's gotta come out somewhere... usually with boobage becoming part of the neckage under the chinage...I'm just sayin'...it's not real attractive.

I love all the Real Housewives.  Again, bad behavior on this show is the norm...but they all look so fabulous while behaving badly that it doesn't seem so bad.  They have housewives for pretty much every big city, Orange County (okay I know...it's not really a city), New York, Beverly Hills, Atlanta, Miami..I don't think they have one from Dallas yet, do they?  If they do, I missed it, and I find it hard to believe I could miss something like that.  I think they should do a white trash version of the Real Housewives.  It could show us shopping at the local WalMart telling our friends how we really got a good deal on Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and now we got us enough to last us for most of the year.  Add a box of Moon Pies and a bottle of RC cola and we got us a feast in the makin'.  I think some of us have already been seen on Hoarders...do you think they'd let us be on two shows at once? (...every time I watch that show I have to throw something away...I seem really normal compared to those folks)

On the current Amazing Race right now is an Asian father/daughter team.  The father is a complete dickhead.  I like the Cowboys.  They get along and aren't assholes.  The mom & deaf son kinda got old.  I realize it must be hard being deaf...but come on.  What a mamma's boy...I wanted to slap him.  Quit your cryin' ya big baby...I know that's being completely insensitive but I can't help it...I also kinda like Asperger Boy (that's what I like to call him...I think I just like saying it) and his brother.  Ultimately, I hope the Cowboys win.

On to my current love...Karl Pilkington.  What can I say???  An Idiot Abroad is my current favorite show.  I would rather watch an hour of Karl Pilkington (don't ya just love the name even??) than just about anything.  Just the looks on his face make me laugh.  My favorite episode was when Karl was in Mexico and ended up being a masked, caped crusading wrestler.  That's some funny shit.  I hope they have Season Two in the works.  Head like a fuckin' orange... it's soooo true.  Remember the old commercials for MTV??  I want my M T V.  Well I want my Pil king ton.  I can't help it...it's the stoopidist thing..

P.S.  I hope Boston Rob finally wins a Survivor.  After all this time he deserves it.  He's a pretty funny guy. And that weird Phillip...Mr. Special Agent Man?  WTF???  Talk about a fruit loop.  Jeff Probst is right.  They should bring Coach & Phillip back to team up together.