Saturday, September 10, 2011

Things That Annoy Me

I'm easily annoyed...sad but true.  It's not the big things that set me off, it's the little things.

Such as...

Brazil Nuts...nobody likes them so why do they fill a jar of mixed nuts with a bunch of Brazil nuts?  When I was a kid, my mom would always put an orange and a few walnuts and Brazil nuts in the toe of my Xmas stocking to take up space that would otherwise have to be filled with the more expensive candy.  That's what Brazil nuts are...space filler uppers in the mixed nut jar.

Eye boogers...you can't feel them so you never know you have one until you've been talking to someone face to face for an hour or so, happen to look in the mirror, and see a gob of goo in the corner of your eye.  If you get in the habit of sticking your finger in the corner of you eye in a desperate attempt to keep them free of eye boogers you end up with a dry, red, irritated eye.  I don't know how to resolve this problem.

Breather boogers...Again as with eye boogers, you never have one of these until you're talking to someone and feel the little thing moving with each breath you take.  You don't know if the person you're talking to can see it or not.  I end up being so worried that I can't concentrate on what the other person is saying.  God only knows what I may have agreed to just so to end the conversation quickly and get to a mirror so I could see if I actually had a visible breather booger.  Never once have I been able to see them.  You can try to rub your nose but then you never know if you've just rubbed the booger out of your nose and onto your face so that doesn't really solve the problem...trust me on this.  Sometimes I try just breathing through my mouth, but it just makes me sound like I'm panting or doing that weird Lamaze breathing.  It makes people look at you like you're crazy.

Paper towel dispensers...there's one of these in the office where I work.  Most times when I'm forced to use the bathroom and dutifully wash my hands lest the bathroom police report me for being unsanitary I grab the corners of the exposed paper towel between my thumbs and forefingers, pull down as instructed by the directions on the machine, and come away with two quarter sized bits of paper.  I'm sure I'm doing something wrong, but I don't know what it is.  And who would you ask for remedial paper towel removal instruction anyway?

Bathroom wind machines...these are perfectly useless items.  Instead of the paper towel dispensers, you'll find a mini wind machine in the restroom.  Hit the big silver knob and air blows down while you're supposed to rub your hands briskly in the breeze.  I'm way too impatient to stand there waiting for my hands to dry and get tired of all the brisk rubbing.  I end up wiping my hands on my pants...does anyone really stand there and wait until their hands are completely dry?

I know these are really insignificant things and I have no idea why I let stuff like this annoy me...it's the stoopidist thing.