Monday, August 15, 2011

Miss Pro Nun See Aye Shuns

OF (Old Friend of undesirable snackage fame) emailed me the other day and we were sort of ranting back and forth about liberal/conservative politics, cosmetic applications, teeth whiteners, and other useful work related items, when the topic, as is usually the case with me, changed to food.

OF again suggested humus as desirable snackage...it's sort of become an ongoing joke...she tries to get me to eat it (not very hard)...I try desperately to avoid it.  I told her about seeing a website with low-cal snackage where, lo and behold, there was hummus listed as prime low-cal snackage.  Along with chopped veggies, which instead of calling them what they were...chopped vegetables...they called them crudité.  OF pronounced it crud-eyete.  Cracked me up.  If I'd been drinking, I would have snorted my Diet Pepsi into my nose.  Which, if you've never done this, beware...it burns intensely.

One time I said the word facade only I pronounced it fah-kaid.   Another time I had to read aloud in a class and I pronounced the word stenographer...sten-oh-graffer.  I can't even begin to count the number of times I've done shit like this.  I'm ashamed to admit that I laugh hysterically whenever anyone else does it...probably because I'm glad I'm not the only one.

When I was a little kid, I was in Sunday School (hard to believe, I know) and another girl was reading from the Bible.  She was reading aloud and pronounced the word ewes as eee-wees.  I started laughing and couldn't stop.  Kathy Griffin has dubbed this phenomenon the "Church Giggles"...it's such an appropriate title...I get Church Giggles all the time...always inappropriately.

One of the old chix and I regularly email each other and deliberately spell things wrong.  I know it sounds really dumb, but we're old and easily amused.  It's kind of hard to do...okay, maybe not hard, but a little more effort is required...I've decided to call it "Crepey Crones Clever Codeage" (CCCC for short)..I realize "clever" is stretching it a bit...okay, a lot....but here's how it goes...

eff ewe kahn reed thess ewe tew mae bee stewpud...

It's the stoopidist thing...