Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Anniversary

Most women are sentimental about birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, Valentines Day (please note it's Valent-i-n-e-s...not Valent-i-m-e-s...hey, just sayin') and pretty much any other day they think should be celebrated as a "speshul occasion".  I obviously was born without the "FCG" (Feminine Celebration Gene).  Truth be told, I have no use for holidays...unless it happens to be one that's a paid day off work, but that kind of goes without saying...

Except Christmas.  I love Christmas.  I wish it were two weeks before Christmas  all year long.  People seem kinder, and more willing to help each other.  If I were king, it would be two weeks before Christmas all the time....and in the Disney world where I want to live, this is how it would be.

See, the problem with not really caring about special occasions is that I tend to forget them...on a regular basis.  

Like my anniversary...I forgot it...again...like I do every year...

One of the OC's (Old Chix) usually reminds me.  I don't know how she remembers when I got married...but it's always been really helpful that she'd tell me before the actual date so I didn't look like a complete asshole and have to admit that I'd forgotten...yet again. 

Yes, OC failed me this year.  No last minute phone call...no email reminder...nada.

So yesterday (the forgotten anniversary date) I come home from work all fat, dumb, and happy, which admittedly is my usual state, hop on a horse & go for a little ride around the block, get home, feed the horses, grab the dogs dishes to feed them and while I'm outside, I hear the phone ring.

Still holding the dogs dishes I go inside in time to hear the answering machine pick up...it's The Husband (who is working out of town).  Since I'm still holding the dogs dishes, I figure I'll just stand there and listen to him and call him back...then I hear the dreaded words...

Husband:  "I just wanted to call & wish you a happy anniversary"

Me:  (To myself) "Fuck, fuck, fuck"...

I drop the dogs dishes and grab the phone before he can hang up...and came up with the perfect line..

Me:  "Ohhh..I thought you forgot..."  In an "oh so happy you were thinking of me" voice.

How friggin' perfect was that?????  Personally, I think it was a stupendously fabulous recovery...it's the stoopidist thing.

P.S.  Gonna have to have a chat with OC for her failure to remind her fellow OC of important "speshul occasions".