Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Another Scooter Person

So, what happened was...I’m driving down the road, fat, dumb, and happy, and as I drive past the Qwiky Mart, there’s a Scooter Person with a surrey type cover over her chair. I guess it’s the Scooter Person version of AC...(I know...I’m going to burn in H.E. double hockey sticks for that) and she’s towing what looks like an ottoman behind her scooter...and her lazy ass friend is sitting on the ottoman. WTF???? It’s the Scooter Person Train...headin’ into Qwiky Mart to stock up on cigarettes and Big Gulps.

Now, I know it sounds like I’m constantly slammin’ Scooter People, and sometimes I am. But it’s not the ones who really need them that I complain about. It’s the dumb ass compadres who climb on board because they’re to fucking lazy to walk...and they could...those little scooters don’t have a “high gear” you know...you can walk along side one easily.

A friend of mine saw a Scooter Person tip over as she was leaving a gas station one day. She rode her scooter down to get her daily Big Gulp and pack of cigarettes and when she tried to go out of the parking lot she tipped over and fell out of her scooter. My friend and some other people helped her back up and into her scooter, but what she was most concerned about was losing her Big Gulp. It was the last of her dinero and she bought cigarettes and a Big Gulp. (By the way...being a complete nicotine addict myself I totally understand the cigarettes...not so much the Big Gulp though.) My friend went inside and explained what happened and the clerk replaced the soda. The Scooter Person had her addictions satisfied and went happily on her way...

So to all the Scooter Person passengers riding on the Scooter People Train...I’d just like to say...GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND WALK ALONG SIDE YOUR FRIEND. There, I said it...and I’m glad I got it off my chest...it's the stoopidist thing.

P.S. I realize my bastardization of the Spanish language is incorrectly punctuated...I can’t figure out how to make the little squiggles and I don’t have time to figure it out...