Sunday, March 24, 2013

Dinner With The Husband

A couple of weeks ago, The Husband and I went to dinner at a new Chinese restaurant.  The place used to be a different Chinese restaurant that I didn't like very much but I noticed a new name on the sign and since it was close to the grocery store and we needed to eat, it seemed like a good time to try it.  The new name of the restaurant is Lucky Jin.

The first time we went in, there was only one other couple having dinner.  A few people came in and picked up orders to go while we were there but it didn't seem like a good omen that nobody was eating there.  We ordered a dinner for two or as it was repeated back to us "dinnah fo tu".  The food was good and even though we couldn't understand the waitress, we decided we'd go back again.

This weekend we decided to go again to "Lucky Jin".  It wasn't the original plan.  No, this happened after The Husband annoyed me.  He didn't know he'd annoyed me...he never does.  See, we have this agreement that nobody cooks or waits on dinner for the other one during the week.  Since we never know when we'll each get home, it works out well.  But I didn't work on Friday so I waited for The Husband to get home from work to see what he wanted to do for dinner.

I was in the bathroom when The Husband came home and by the time I got out, (no, I wasn't going "big potty") I walked into the kitchen and he had a can of clam chowder soup poured into a bowl and was getting ready to heat it up.  Now, I know this shouldn't have annoyed me...but it did.  The Husband didn't know I'd waited to eat until he got home...but I had...and so I felt I had ample reason to be annoyed.

"Well, I guess I'll go to the store and get something to eat..." I said, each word dripping with sarcasm as I walked out the door to feed the horses.  I don't think he even heard me.  The Husband is more than slightly deaf but refuses to admit it.

When I walked back into the house The Husband said "Do you want to go to town and get something to eat"?  Maybe I was wrong...maybe he had heard me...and maybe, just maybe he noted the annoyed tone in my voice.

"I thought you were eating soup" I said...

"I was, but I ruined it" he said...now I know he didn't notice anything I said before and wasn't trying to be nice...he just fucked up his soup and wanted dinner.

"How can you ruin soup?"  I wondered out loud.

"I made it with buttermilk" said The Husband...and I'm instantly happy, delighted even, that I'd forgotten to go to the store to buy milk.  That'll teach him...it won't really...but at least I had a good laugh and a good laugh can get you over mild annoyance any time.

So that's how we ended up at Lucky Jin a second time.  Again, there was only one other couple at a table when we got there.  The same waitress brought us our drinks and remembered from the previous time that I don't like sweet & sour sauce with mustard in it.  She brought the sweet & sour sauce sans mustard along with our drinks so I know she remembered.  She didn't take our dinner order this time though, instead a man who I assume is her husband, took our orders...he was even harder to understand than she was.

I said "let's just get what we had the last time" to The Husband.  The waiter took our order and asked us something about "soup".  Even I couldn't understand the waiter but I almost laughed at the look The Husband gave me...and I realized he gives me this look all the time...it's the "WTF did they say" look.  Every time we go to a restaurant, I automatically repeat things to him or just order for him.  It's become such a habit, I don't even realize I'm doing it.

I manage to get that the waiter is asking us what kind of soup we want and when I ask him what kind there is I understand the words won ton.  So that's what I picked.  As he walked away, The Husband asked what the waiter said so I told him he wanted to know what soup we wanted.

"Well I couldn't understand him...bla,bla,bla,bla,bla" says The Husband, trying to make his bla, blas, sound Chinese.  I'm horrified when he does this and immediately start nervously laughing as I tell him to shut up.  Deaf people talk louder than they think they do sometimes and I don't want the waiter or waitress to hear him.  Jeez....

We finish eating and I tell The Husband I'm going to get a carton to take the leftovers home.  When I start to turn around to get the attention of the waitress I hear The Husband shout out "Hey Lucky Jin"...like that's her name.  WTF???  I must have had a WTF look on my face when I looked at him because he kinda looked sheepish...like after he said it he knew it probably wasn't the right thing to say...still he felt the need somehow to dig himself in a little deeper when the waitress brought me a take out carton by asking her...

"Do you speak Chinese?  Or Cantonese?"  and... you guessed it...he said it in old white man fake Chinese accent...and he didn't even know he was doing it.  I wanted to die...like The Husband would even know the difference between Chinese or Cantonese...

Now I'm afraid we can never return to Lucky Jin for fear they'll spit in our food thinking The Husband was intentionally mocking them...it's the stoopidist thing.